How to become bolder? How to become more confident?
Each of us wants to be brave. More often in order to fulfill their desire. How often we hear from our friends and loved ones: "Eh, if I were just a little bolder, I would jump with you with a parachute / go to that girl / not be offended / ask for a pay increase." , after which they regret it, if not for the rest of their lives, then for a very long time. But it is worth remembering that they are not born as bold, they become. Of course, for this you need to make a lot of effort, because it is not easy to become bolder, but it's worth it, and the results will exceed all expectations.
What is fear?
Fear arises when the life or health (physical or mental) of a person is in danger. And then your own brain puts it before a choice: fight or run, while releasing a special substance - the hormone cortisol, which causes stress, and also enters the body into a state of enhanced activity. If a person does not have enough spirit or strength to fight, he spends all his strength for salvation. And this is not bad.
First of all, fear is our protector, which exists from the very moment of the appearance of a man in order to protect him from predators. He is with us throughout life and, if abused, can turn into a phobia.
In the modern world, people most often experience a threat to mental health. For example, the constant problem of shy guys is to approach an unfamiliar girl and talk to her. Or invite to meet a familiar lady. In this case, he is afraid that the girl will refuse him, will laugh, then show him to his friends, and they will all laugh at him. This may be preceded by a similar incident that happened to him before. Maybe he was not so scary, but fantasy is a powerful thing when you are afraid of something. This poor lad really wants to be brave and, perhaps, even knows how to become bolder and more confident in himself, but still can not. Fear has a bad ability to paralyze common sense and makes a person obey the primary instincts - run to escape. Therefore, such people often turn around and leave, instead of acting.
How to become bolder?
Brave people, on the contrary, jump with a parachute, get acquainted with different people anywhere, put a head in a crocodile's mouth. And everyone says: "What a fearless person. I would be like that."
In reality, these same brave souls are far from fearless. They can still be afraid of heights, jumping with a parachute, or crash while riding a racing car. However, they decided that they would be enough to go on about fear, and they understood how to become bolder and more determined, how to overcome themselves and open the door to the world of the new and interesting. At the same time, it doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, what skin color and race you have, any person can possess these qualities. And the tips described below will help a brave girl to become, and a guy to gain courage.
Where to start the way
Any journey begins with his goal. Why it is needed, what's the point. Why do you need a way to become bolder? It is from this and you need to start. A person should know what to strive for, what reward he will receive, and whether this game is worth the candle. However, in this case, the rules are slightly different: the future daredevil himself designates a goal and reward for himself, and he has the right to change these parameters or correct them.
We take the right attitude
It is very important to set yourself up properly. It may be silly, but 90% of the results of all cases and undertakings depend on the mood.You need to gather your courage, stand in front of the mirror and loudly, clearly, looking into your eyes, say to yourself: "I can. I will do it. I will succeed. I know how to become brave and courageous, and I will never leave this ways. " And every time when doubts and fear will creep up, you need to remember that person looking out of the mirror, and mentally pronounce these words.
How to become bolder with this? Everything is quite simple. A person behaves the way he feels. If the mood is to fail, then the behavior with others will be very calm, exciting for yourself, and you yourself will look like small and poor things. If the mood is cheerful, then you will be having fun with others, joking, flirting and enjoying communication. When the mood is "I am confident. I can do everything. I will do it", then you feel encouraged, confident, strong, able to move mountains. However, one mood is not enough.
Many do not even begin to do something, because they are afraid of losing, because of which they can be ridiculed. This is extremely wrong. Losses accompany the entire life of a person.They are an unlimited source of experience that you can use to achieve your goals. And the sooner a person understands this, the sooner he will find a way to become bolder and more confident in himself.
Not one person learned to walk without falling a hundred times. No cook could masterly cook until he burns and spoils hundreds of his dishes. Mistakes and defeats give the most valuable advice on how to avoid the next time to win. It is very useful to visit your past mistakes and go through them again. Yes, it is very unpleasant and even a bit humiliating. But! Every time you encounter it, you accept them, analyze and draw conclusions, turning it into experience.
Therefore, the most important thing is to never lose heart after a loss, never give up and believe in yourself, so that nothing happens, and no matter what anyone says, you can’t do without these brave souls and winners.
See fear in the face
As you know, fear can not be completely defeated, and this is useless. Why kill the natural defense mechanism that helps to survive. However, fear is not what makes a person afraid, but his reason allegedly spiced with a generous pinch of fantasy.For example, many people are afraid of the dark. But in reality they are not afraid of the dark, but of what might be in it, that is, of different monsters. Or more. Man is not afraid of heights, but to fall and break.
Given this, you can understand how to become strong and courageous. You just need to understand that in the dark there is no one, and you are afraid of the ghost that you just saw in a horror movie. And, understanding this, you need to take a step forward, then one more and more, until the goal is reached. And if there is such a desire, how to become bolder, it is necessary to meet with your fears as often as possible. Soon you get used to them and are no longer so afraid.
Always do something new.
Constantly need to do something new, something that they were afraid or hesitated to do earlier. Call the girl or the guy who liked, go to the cinema himself, suddenly buy a ticket somewhere and leave (or fly away) for the weekend. It is worth repeating these actions several times, as fear begins to slowly dulled until it subsides altogether. Thus, the fear of the unknown will go away.
Praise and encourage yourself
Everyone loves to be praised. This means that he is recognized, and his work and efforts are evaluated.So why not praise yourself for some successfully completed work. Say, completed the task - buy yourself a chocolate bar, go drink coffee, call your best friend and make an appointment on Friday. You must love yourself, not hurt.
Many people, on the contrary, constantly punish themselves. And from this it only gets worse. Not only that the task is not completed, so for it still punished himself a loved one. Because of this, the mood may fall, and the rest of the forces at work will evaporate in an unknown direction.
Risk is a noble cause
As they say, who does not risk, he does not drink champagne. Simply put, who does not risk, he does not win. Moreover, it does not even have a chance to win, therefore, no step was taken towards the realization of its goal. What does it have to do how to become more courageous?
Take the same example with a beautiful girl. A shy boy doesn’t have the slightest chance to meet her if he doesn’t risk everything he has and doesn’t fit her. Even if he doesn’t say anything worthwhile, he will tread on one place. Even if she snorts at him and walks away. It does not matter. The important thing is that he put at stake his pride and feelings, took a chance and got the most valuable experience that he can use next time.But if he didn’t fit at all, he wouldn’t even get this experience, which he would have pushed towards becoming a brave man.
Let's summarize a little
If you have already decided to turn from a gray mouse into a brave lion, then you need to act. Here and now. No tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, when I buy new sneakers, or "if I had the desire." No excuses. If there really is such a desire, how to become bolder, then first of all you should sit down at the table, put a piece of paper in front of you, pick up a pen and write all your dreams, desires, what you want to get out of life and what's in it. When goals are marked and priorities are determined, we begin to act. To begin with, we will set ourselves up for success, believe in ourselves and swear to never give up, so as not to go astray because of our own opinions and opinions of others. After all, if this happens, it will be extremely difficult to return. When the primary work on oneself is over and the mind is determined to fight for a brighter and brighter future, you can go to practice, change and improve every day, and grow your courage from the smallest. No one said it would be easy, it would be very difficult.However, this game is definitely worth the trouble and those who went from start to finish and won received much more than they had planned from the very beginning.