Condolences about death: how to find the right words?
Alas, man is mortal, and this does not change. Therefore, sooner or later each of us will have to bury a loved one. It is difficult to describe with words the emotions that fill the hearts of people on this day. Immense sadness, like an evil artist, repaints the whole world in gray and heavy tones. But the hardest thing is to find words of condolences about death, as if something was holding back all thoughts inside us.
And, nevertheless, there is no power to be silent either, because from silence the pain becomes even stronger. Therefore, you need to overcome yourself and utter these words. This is the only way to say goodbye to a person who has gone on an eternal journey.
The grayest day
In the days of loss, the worst are the relatives and relatives. After all, they knew the departed best of all, met him regularly, and overcame the difficulties of life together. It would seem that yesterday he was still with them, smiling, joking - a new day has come, and he is no longer there.Such a blow can not pass without a trace, so they are so much in need of words of condolences about death.
But what to say on such a day? How to choose words that can express the depth of their loss? How to take away their pain, or at least slightly muffle it? It is difficult to give such advice, and yet there are a few rules on how best to express condolences about death.
What to say to the relatives of the deceased?
First of all, you should collect your thoughts, let it seem like an impossible task. But remember that it depends not only on how coherent the words will be, but also on whether they can ultimately make it through to people's hearts.
So, how to express condolences about death?
- First of all, imagine the image of a dead person: what kind of person was he, what character traits did you like most about him? Use his best hand to start a conversation. For example: "He was the most reliable friend ..." or "Today the world has lost another talented person."
- Since these are condolences about death, try to express in words the full bitterness of your loss. Do not be afraid to be verbose or, conversely, squeeze out just a few phrases. The main thing is to invest all your soul in them, otherwise they will remain just empty sounds.
- At the end, be sure to offer your help. On such days, many responsibilities fall on the shoulders of relatives, and an extra pair of hands may be useful to them.
Use sign language
Sometimes words are not enough to calm a person at least a little. Therefore, if the situation allows it, then use tactile contact, or, more simply, touch. After all, human warmth can also affect people.
Sometimes a small touch to the shoulder or a strong handshake will be enough to at least briefly pull a person out of the clutches of despair. In some cases, if people are in good friendship or they are related by family ties, then even hugs can be used.
How to express condolences over the death letter?
Talking about death is always difficult, but even harder to write about it. Indeed, in this case, the person does not see the person of the interlocutor, which complicates the establishment of emotional contact. Therefore, you should not expect that the letter will be able to convey the words of condolences about death as precisely as an oral message could do.
And yet, if there is no other way out, you will need to send a letter.It is written by hand, it is better to do it in black ink. The envelope should not be signed, so it will be much better. You should also not write too much, ideally should be no more than three or four sentences.
It is much more important that the letter should reach the addressee within 2-3 days. Otherwise, it will not only fail to fulfill its purpose, but will also become a reason for new tears.
What not to say?
You also need to remember that during this period, people are very sensitive, and one wrong word can cause even greater psychological trauma. Therefore, it would be right to write about what should not be said at the funeral.
- Do not use the future in your consolations. For example, expressing condolences about the death of a mother, it is not necessary to tell her children that life will soon return to its normal course. After all, this will not happen, as it has never been before.
- Avoid such words as "died", "died", "did not become." Where better to replace them with expressions such as "he is gone," or "now she is in a better world," and so on.
- Do not resort to banal phrases like "I understand your loss" or "time heals."
- Also, do not blame anyone for the death of a person. Especially in such a manner as "if he had not left for the transition, then ..." or "I told him not to go there, otherwise ...".
- You should not look for positive moments in this event. Death is death, and optimism is inappropriate here.
The main rule in expressing condolence
The most important thing is sincerity. Without it, any words will only be false, which is easy to see. And this will make the relatives even worse in the soul, because who likes the hypocrisy at the funeral?
So try to speak from your heart. Let in this monologue and there will be no beautiful phrases, yet it will be right. And besides, any person deserves to be told only the truth on his deathbed.